The Gummies From Hell
by Erwin Rommel98
Summary: Nick buys a massive bag of sugar-free gummies off the internet. They look innocent enough, but little does he know that he is about to experience hell on earth. A short story based on the hilarious Amazon review about the 5lb bag of sugar-free Haribo gummy bears.


One day Nick logged into his Amazon account, intending to search for a set of surround sound speakers for the new TV he had just gotten. However, before he started his search, a suggestion for a purchase caught his eye. It was a 5lb bag of sugar-free gummies. Nick clicked on it, then paused. He had just bought some chocolates and other assorted candies for Valentine's day, and a small part of him said that that was enough sweets for a while. But these were sugar-free. Surely, they couldn't be as bad as the other candy. Plus, he really liked gummies, ever since he was a little kid.

"Aw, what the heck." He said to himself before clicking on the 'add to cart' button and then continuing his search for the speakers.

A few days later two packages arrived on his doorstep.

"Looks like you've been spoiling yourself," Judy said, bringing in one of the packages. "There's another one that's bigger than this one still on the porch. You didn't get that speaker set you were talking about without consulting me first did you?"

_"__Red Alert!"_ Nick thought. _"Action stations!"_

"Uh, maybe." He said sheepishly.

"Nick Wilde!" Judy said as she put the package on the table. She was clearly annoyed.

_"__Oh no. Not the last name!"_

"I thought we were going to cut back on unnecessary expenses for a little while. Especially since you just bought that TV."

"I'll make it up to you Fluff. I promise." Nick said with desperation. This was not going to plan. She wasn't supposed to be the one who found the packages.

"And how will you do that?" Judy asked her hands on her hips. "And what's with this other package? What else did you get?"

"Um." Nick clasped and un-clasped his paws. "Just some gummies."

"Gummies? How many? Both these boxes are big."  
"Just five pounds."  
"FIVE POUNDS!? Why the heck do you need five pounds of gummies?"

"I'll share them." Nick said, trying to deflate the situation.

"Humph. You better." Said Judy. "Next time tell me before you buy things like this. Do I even want to know how much the sound system cost?"

"Um. It wasn't too bad." Nick replied.

Judy sighed. "How much?"

"$350."

"Niiick! That's a lot of money!"

"I promise I won't do it again Judy! Cross my heart!" Nick said as he made an X over his heart.

"I'm tempted to make you sleep on the couch tonight Slick."

"Please don't."

"Humph. Well, I'm going to go for a run. I need to cool off a bit, and then I'll decide if you get to sleep with me tonight" Said Judy.

"Ok honey. Be safe!"

_"__Maybe I can get it set up before she gets back. Then she might realize how nice it is to have surround sound."_ Nick thought.

"Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." Judy said as she finished putting on her running shorts and shoes.

"Oh, I won't Fluff. Promise."

"Mmhmm."

Nick waited until she had left before getting the larger box of the porch. He took it into their bedroom where the TV was and slit the tape holding it closed.

"Very nice." He murmured to himself as he unpacked the box's contents.

_"__You know what,"_ he thought. _"This would be the perfect time for some gummies."_

He got up and went back to the kitchen table, where the box with the gummies was still resting. After carefully opening it, Nick pulled out a massive clear plastic bag filled with multi-colored gummies all shaped like little fruits.

"Sweet." He said. Then he took a pair of scissors and snipped off a corner of the bag and poured himself a small handful before popping them into his mouth.

"Not bad!" he said. Normally sugar-free things tasted a wee bit off, but these were spot on. Again, he poured himself another small hand full and munched on them on the way back to his bedroom. He set the bag down beside him and began work on the sound system.

Suddenly, Nick felt his stomach give a lurch. A second later he let out the nastiest fart he had ever smelled. Nick nearly gagged. Seconds later it happened again, forcing him to get up and go open the window for some fresh air, which he greedily gulped.

The thought of Judy getting home and smelling this nearly made him panic, so he ran to the switch for the fan and flipped it, but nothing happened. Then he remembered he had turned the fan off using the pull chord directly on the fan.

With a groan, he went to pull it. Before he could make it though, his stomach gave another lurch. This one was accompanied by a cramp, and it was all he could do to keep his rear clinched long enough to make it to the toilet. He had barely sat down when all hell broke loose.

It was awful. Later, the only way he could think to describe it was like someone using a fire hose as a sink spigot. It came out in torrents and he could swear that it was hot. Acidic even. It was like he had stuck his butt in a bucket of hot coffee and then someone had tried forcing it up his rear with a pump.

How could such innocent looking gummies do this? The only conclusion Nick could come up with was that they had come directly from hell. No other possible way.

Suddenly a terrible thought hit Nick full force. What would happen if the toilet got full or clogged? This thought gave him enough motivation to try something and after a few seconds of trying he had managed to clinch his rear and staunch the flow of death long enough to flush the toilet, resetting it for the next round.

This was going to be along morning.

After only 40 minutes, he heard the front door open and Judy walk in.

Nick had failed to close the bathroom door. He simply hadn't had the time.

"Stay in the living room!" He called out.

"Why?" Judy called back. Then she said, "What the heck is that _smell_?"

Nick didn't answer. He was to busy trying to keep his insides from exiting through his rear. At the same time, he was wondering how in the world he was going to make up to Judy for all this. Maybe he could just disappear for a little while. Maybe she'd forget.

But no. His keen ears picked up the padding of her feet as she walked toward their bedroom.

"Don't come in!" he said desperately. He tried standing up, so he could close the bathroom door, but his intestines determined that that was not going to happen, and he sat back down with a groan.

_"__Why is this happening to me?_" he thought morosely. Nick wasn't the religious type, but he couldn't help but think that maybe God was punishing him for buying the speakers. That was the only thing he could come up with.

Judy stopped at the door to their bedroom. Nick could hear her struggling to breathe.

"Nick! Did something die in here?!" she said between gasps for air.

_"__Maybe." _Nick thought, but instead, he said "Um, not exactly!

Then he gasped as another series of cramps rocked his abdomen. Nothing came out though and he was pretty sure he had emptied his bowels of absolutely everything, including all the gum he had swallowed as a kid and was pretty sure had stuck with him until now.

Judy must have heard his gasp and at the same time seen the open bag of gummies he had left on the ground by the half-empty box that contained the sound system.

"Are you OK Nick? Is it the gummies?" she asked. Nick could hear her trying to hold back laughter. She must have figured out what had happened.

"I think so, and yes!" He said.

"Do you need any help?"

_"__Help? How could she help?" _He asked himself.

"Um, no!" he said.

"You sure!"

"Yes!" Nick was mortified by the thought of her seeing him like this.

"Ok then. I'm going outside!"

"Right." Nick replied distractedly.

_"__I hope this is almost over."_ He thought. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take it. At least his nose had gotten used to the smell. Either that, or he had killed all the olfactory nerves in it. He didn't care either way, he was just glad he couldn't smell the torrent of death that until recently had been flowing from him quite freely.

**LATER**

"You can sleep with me tonight Nick." Judy said from across the table while they ate lunch. "You've had enough punishment for today."

"Thank God." Nick said exasperatedly. "I was hoping that spending two hours on the toilet with a fire hose blowing out my ass was sufficient punishment for not consulting you before I bought those speakers."

Judy couldn't help but laugh, causing Nick to flatten his ears and take on a hurt look.

"Well, there is one condition." Judy said.

_"__Oh no."_ Nick thought.

"Um, and what could that be?"

"That you don't fart one time tonight. If you do, you're out." Judy jerked a thumb over her shoulder.

"Um, ok."

"So, what made you buy those gummies anyway?"

"They were sugar-free." Nick said simply as if that explained everything.

"Is that it? They were sugar-free?"

"Yup. But now I don't think I'll touch another sugar-free thing for as long as I live." Nick said shuttering. The thought of having another experience like today gave him goosebumps under his fur.

"And you'll make no more big purchases like that again without consulting me, right?"

"Right. If I do, you can feed me some of those gummies."

"Fair!" Judy said with enthusiasm, making Nick shudder again.

The thought of tricking Fin into eating a few quickly flashed through his mind, but he dismissed it. There was no way he could do that to anyone. Not even his worst enemies.

"Well," he said after a few seconds of quiet. "I guess I should go ahead and finish setting that speaker system up.

"Good idea slick. I'm going to do a little grocery shopping before it gets too late. Maybe I'll get a little something special for us."

"Oo, Like what?"  
"Not tellin." She said with a wink as she picked up her purse.

**Ok folks. I wrote this sort of spur of the moment. I based it off that absolutely hilarious review posted on Amazon about the Haribo sugar-free gummy bears. I have to admit, that was the funniest thing I have ever read, and I wanted to see if I could somehow turn it into a short story and I hoped you enjoyed reading it. **

**That being said, I would love to know how I did. Did I do a good enough job depicting the experience? Let me know. **

**Signing off, **

**Erwin.**


End file.
